Wednesday, October 6, 2010

In the Words Of....

For lack of a better reaction, I am going to let you answer what has been thrown out at me yesterday. Your words won't get me in trouble, for they aren't 'necessarily' my opinion, and I frankly don't want to get all upset again over it. I would rather post this, and then enjoy my wedding and not usher in the weekend with even a shadow of this pain in my heart.

Gloria said,

"There is a lot to this story that none of you know. I nearly vomited after reading Vyckie's blog entry- after all that she has done to Angel, to turn around and write such a seemingly caring piece about this, is pathetic, and I don't buy a minute of it.

Neither Angel, nor the other friends involved are believing Aaron and Angel's side of the story "just because Aaron seems like such a nice guy". Believe me- these implications have been very carefully and seriously considered and weighed. Those of us in the blog world think we know what's going on, but for me, the weighing factor is how the "real life" people who have known the family for many years react to this. They are not naive, easily fooled people. They know Vyckie. They know Angel. They know the rest of the family. They know the truth of what this family is really like- not just the version that Vyckie chooses to present via NLQ. They are making the choice they have for a very good reason. It is NOT just because Aaron appears to be a "charming", "nice guy".

Sure. To everyone in blogland, it seems terrible that the two girls are being "ignored". They're not. Vyckie is painting a picture to make herself look like the loving, concerned parent who was faced with an impossible choice. It's not true. Angel, when confronted with the accusations, seriously considered them, their basis, and found them to be seriously factually lacking. She tried to work with Vyckie on the matter, and begged Vyckie to look into what she (Angel) had discovered. Vyckie ignored her. The things that Vyckie has said to Angel, and the way she has treated her are so reprehensible- I have no words. And yet, somehow, she manages to make herself look like the persecuted one here. I'm not surprised. It's not the first time, and it's not the last.

Also, the accusation against Aaron was not the first from at least one of the girls. She made the exact same accusation against another young man at the school. There are a lot, and I mean A LOT of other things going on here.

I absolutely agree that if a sexual accusation is made, it should be taken seriously. I cannot say strongly enough: IT WAS! I think Vyckie's sympathizers are doing Angel, Aaron and friends a huge disfavor by taking what Vyckie takes at face value.

Also, Vyckie claims that it is Aaron separating Angel from her support system. That couldn't be further from the truth. Vyckie, herself, is the one that has done that to herself. Angel tried to make things work, and friends begged Vyckie to try to mend her relationship with her daughter. She ignored them, and deliberately continued destroying Angel. There is no relationship to be repaired. Vyckie made very sure of that.

Another point: someone else here has said if Vyckie actually believed these things, WHY would she let the charges drop? Very good question, and one that all of us involved, including Angel have had. Something just isn't right here. If she really believed that her daughters had been abused, why would she let the charges go? That, in itself, is very telling.

All that to say: something is off. I know a lot more of the background story here, and I smell a fish....a very rotten fish."

Not a Fundie said,

" How can your MOTHER not attend your wedding? Even if something did occur, that shouldn't stop her from being there on the happiest and most important day of her daughter's life. There is a way to protect some of her daughters while being there for the other.

Your mother is acting like he is gulity, when she's admitted to not investigating the situation fully. She is basically saying that since the authorities have yet to dismiss the case as "unfounded" (which I am sure they will eventually) that means that he did it. Gulity until proven otherwise? Um no. She knows how much it means to you to have Andrew walk you down the aisle, but now he won't be able to do it.

Your mom acts like she is so concerned over your "rapid weight loss" and says that size 4 at 5'6 is unhealthy. It's not. You look great. Not to mention all the stress that SHE has put upon you, in addition to working, martial arts, attending school, preparing for the navy, and planning your wedding. If I had to do all that at once I would explode! lol. It sounds like she's a little jealous that you've lost some extra weight you didn't need in the first place.

These various things have me doubting your mother's mental stability. She tries to paint you as unstable and tortured on her blog, even after all you have overcome, and recently been dealing with. She tried to shut down your other blog for telling "lies" but i read that blog, and you are just writing about your past from your perspective. And wouldn't that be something to be dealt with personally, not through attorneys? Plus, She only mentions in passing that she is proud that you are going into the Navy. It seems she doesn't want to focus on all the good things you are doing.

This last one is the most important. Your husband is basically a public figure, since he's been featured on television and in popular blogs. Many people know his first and last name, where he lives, goes to school, what he looks like, etc. How can your mother post allegations so publically that haven't been fully investigated? Doesn't she know how much this can ruin his reputation...for life, ESPECIALLY if they aren't even true?!?

And Princess Jo said,

"I personally, found that entry "ugh".

From her comments about the lying to the her statement that she hopes that Aaron won't her daughter's last husband - what mother hopes that her child goes through the trauma of divorce? Come on - that is appalling.

I guess I find it somewhat tragic that other 6 kids have come before Angel, and always have. It shouldn't be that way. I know all too well the feeling of being somehow less worthy of Mum's attention/belief then my siblings.

Jo "

Two of these three bloggers have had direct contact with me and/or my mom, and know a little more of the story. Thanks guys for your thoughts.

I'll just add the fact that yes, the sister under me is a legal adult, and has been since this started. Also, that Aaron is taking all of this in stride, and has silently born the shame that has been put on him, all the while caring devotedly for me as I suffer. He has lost almost 20 lbs since this started, and I know he is not unhurt by what is being done. But he has steadily proved himself to strong Christian members of our community, who trust him with their children, and has continued to support my sisters and brothers without being near them as a brother-in-law.

And now. The moment I've been waiting for. No more talk of such things, but a wedding only, from now until Sunday! I have a ton of pictures, plan to post them this afternoon.


Anonymous said...

I have found that weddings and funerals tend to bring out the worst in fundie families.

Ive come to the conclusion that even if you take the woman out of the fundie lifestyle, you cant always take the lifestyle and mentality out of the woman.

You got a bum deal in the parents department, Angel, but that doesnt have to determine your future.

You deserve happiness.
You deserve peace.
You deserve to be surrounded with emotionally healthy people, instead of toxic cesspools.

Hang in there, lady. Enjoy your beautiful day. You deserve as much.

Wubby said...

Angel, I want you to know that I love you. I also want you to know that you were your mom's entire world, when you were younger. Your mom had a lot of overwhelming responsibilities, within the QF movement, that you probably didn't understand then or now. As a mom, myself, I know that she still loves and cares for you as she always has and always will.

Anonymous said...

I wish you nothing but happiness on your day! Congrats :)

Princess Jo said...

I hope I haven't crossed over the line or offended you with the things that I said!

Just popping in to wish you the very best for your wedding day.

Enjoy this day. Ignore the family drama. It will be beautiful!

Tanya said...

Hi Angel, you don't know me, but just wanted to let you know I have been reading your blog and I want to give you some encouragement and support. I am so sorry you are going through these trials with your mom at such a special time in your life; it is totally unfair and you don't deserve it. You seem to be such a strong and resilient young woman, and I applaud you for all that you are doing and have done in your life in spite of your past. I hope you have such a wonderful wedding that it numbs and outshines the pain you are feeling. It sounds like you have a found a great man. Also, congratulations on joining the Navy! My husband has been in the Air Force for 25 years and we love the military life. The best of luck to you.