Monday, August 30, 2010

There's No Place Like Home...

First and foremost...
We made it a priority to raise the flag and hang our
recruit hats. Please observe a moment of respect
for our United States Navy...

Okay. Next!

This is our new kitchen. It's a lot nicer than the old
kitchen, I promise!! Lots of nice new cupboards and
an oven that works!!!! Sooo exciting.

This is our livingroom, with Recruit Pisces gracing
the sofa!! She was pretending to ignore me. We were
watching Family Guy when I decided to take pictures
for you, dear reader.

This is our favorite corner. :D Okay, not really.
But it's a fun corner!!

This is our table centerpiece. Our theme is Paris
cafe, so... yeah! Pumpkin candles smell so
Autumn-y, by the way.

Can I call this art?

We have a corner for scrapbooks too. This is from
a day in Wayne, over 400 days ago. The friends
that grace the pages are the ones I hope stick around
for the better part of forever.

Yes, we still have our entertainment. Recruit
plans to put them in a big cd case and bring
them with us to A-school. Hooray!!

Um... the bathroom? I guess. The least charming
room of a house. Maybe one day this will be the
outdated outhouse and they will make a big book
with pictures of bathrooms.

Of course you can't tell who this is!! It's just
a silhouette. The background is our new house,
by the way.

This... is a picture of the rocks in our backyard. When
it's light out, I shall get better outdoor pics.

This is Alexander. Alexander is my new tree. I love
him more than any of my previous trees. He
sort of fits perfectly into my eager arms.

This is our cool new neighbor. We'll call him the
Busch Man. Busch Lite NA, if you want to be specific.
Busch Man is pretty cool, I suspect you'll be hearing more
about him. He likes music, like we do, and that made
him the topic of our conversation the first night we
slept here.

Conversation About the Busch Man
Recruit Pisces: So....
Me: Yup! I know, right?
Recruit Pisces: Yup...
Candy Man: Huh? Want a beer?

It was enlightening and lovely.

The Busch Man has a lot of cool things. He also
had a really cool pose when he leaned against the
car. But I took too long to capture the 'senior pose'
and I got this instead. Hey. It shows his friendly nature.

Candy Man: Want a beer, Busch Man?

So... our neighbor has the sweetest bar in town, I think.
I absolutely want to drink a beer at that thing. Can
someone say, "You look like you moved to the
west, Angel!" Cause I guess I did! (Nashville,
you are just as classy, I promise)

The Busch Man also gave us some props for our photos.
And so: Recruit Pisces on the Badmobile!!!!

She is a very good driver. She's just tired.

I like ta drive with my head in the clouds... all I'm
really missing is the cigar.

That's the make and model of our tree. We drive
it almost every night. We like cruisin'.

There you go!! Part of the new house!! To be continued...

Update on Wedding

We are getting closer!! 40 days till the wedding.
You can find everything you need


Saturday, August 28, 2010

That's One Doodle That Cant Be Undid, Homeskillet...

...not that I would ever want it to be undid.
if makes me what to cartwheel around the world
and gives me the creativity I need to make
a few more doodles just like it.

Friendship is an art. It begins with a line-a
path. That line meets up with another line, and a
sketch begins. Weaving about intrinsically, the
form takes place, and it is a beautiful thing.

So that's all the poetry I feel at the moment. I like
how tall Green looks next to me, even though she's
really not taller than me by much.

Smile, Green.

Let's try a Twilight pose!! Okay, this looks pretty
realistic. Pretend the houses are mountains, and
we look simply, horribly beautiful. In a dead way.
Or not.

And there you have us! The sketch of carefree
youth and friendship. That is to me one of the
most awesome mysteries of life.

Signing out,

Friday, August 27, 2010

Foreverr Island

Destination Forever Island
By way of Imagination Sea
Stardust gives wings to a ship
Carrying you and me

This magical voyage spins
Like our twirling lollipop crew
An array of colors invade
Mystical shades you never knew

We reach the shimmering shore
Dance the deck hand in hand
And spend our future there
On beautiful Forever Island


Thursday, August 26, 2010


Shards of forgiveness lie scattered about on the cold, hard floor of my heart. Little scraps of childhood gather dust, shredded and discarded. Pieces of hope stab me painfully at every turn. Love mocks me from it's many smashed fragments strewn among the wistful remains. Desires are in smithereens, crying to be remembered.

The only thing solid is a big corner of rejection, staring dismally into the distance. Loneliness settles in over all, like a cloud of fate waiting to isolate it's world.

Wandering in, I am hopelessly lost within my own heart. I try to make sense of the frightful wreckage. Cringing, I grasp a shred of hope, only to feel it crumble beneath my fingertips. Even looking in the direction of dreams brings unshed tears of despair to brighten the sickle blue of my eyes.

Falling to my knees, I send out a mute scream. Inside my heart, the sound is deafening, ripping up the walls, saturating my body with agony and defeat. Indeed, the very heartbeat that surrounds me yearns for death, to pulse in anguish no more. I cover my ears to drown the siren call of the grave, but it pours into my soul, searching to find a home here. Here, where hope once resided, a gaping chasm passionately aches to be inhabited.

As I dissolve into a flood of tears and lose myself in a world of hurt, I do not notice the breathy note that sings to me. Virtually silent, the gentle token floats up to me from the depths. As I catch my breath, I hear the soft crescendo. Sweetly serenading me, like an aria on a violin, it settles to rest over me. It is a note of promise, and it is not dead, but whispers beautiful life into my ears. In the peaceful reverence that calms me, I reach for the crushed remnants of my life and arrange them in jagged forms before me.

There is life, and it is broken, but it is beautiful. Tried by fire, the shards shine like gold. The diamonds freed within my soul send a million prisms of starlight bursting into the ruins. I find a mosaic beauty in the serrated debris. Arranged like a puzzle, somehow the chaos holds meaning. It speaks of a happily ever after. It fills every fiber of my being with a splendid virtuoso, a song of hope and love. Blood again courses freely from a steadily beating organ.

With a start, I come back to the ashy ground zero that is my heart. The dream is the gold; I have yet to find it. The hope that whispers to me has yet to penetrate the ice that is my veins. Freedom is but a term that taunts me with false condensation.

To but find my bliss, O soul do not despair
But lead me to the sweet hope that be
Make visible this love e'er fair
And show me the way to victory.

Some Old Photographs and Star Dust

In case you ever wondered how the signs of the zodiac are
different, I'ma gonna show you in this post. I'm using
all siblings, with maybe one or two really close friends,
to describe them. This is kind of a farewell to the younger
stars I grew up with. A bittersweet farewell.

Here's a little piece of happiness to start us off. A Pisces,
to be exact. Scorpios and Pisces are very much harmony-dwellers.
They tend to live together peacefully almost always. My lil
sis is mature beyond her years and very gracious. She pulls
on her inner strength and is as a result very low-maintenance.
Did I mention I love her?

I know, I know! She's hot!! She's a Leo. I can't
help it. I looked cute, at least!! Some of us pick up on hotness
better than others. I miss you Hotness!!!

fPisces!!! Okay, so she's not a sibling, but Recruit Picses is my
best friend, and our signs equally adore each other, so...
She can be on this page. No, we were not drunk in
this picture. And no, we aren't insanely funny and strange.

A fellow Scorpio... my big brother. He's recently moved
away and gotten a girlfriend, another statistic. :( <---- sad But he's in my heart every day, because Scorpios always make themselves indispensable.
Scorpios always feel endearment towards Pisces and Aries.
This little brother is a mixture of both, born on the cusp. So
of course, I just want to melt when I look into his big
eyes and feel his tiny hands hugging me.

Scorpios are the most powerful sign in the zodiac, attracting
all the other signs like magnets. The only sign Scorpios are
irresistably drawn to are Cancers. This brother of mine
is my million bucks. I'll never stop loving him.

When you're in the hospital, you don't really care how
you look. But this is a more recent picture of the one
and only Virgo in our family. Virgos tend to be anxious
little guys. lol no comment there. But they are also
very determined, and she is...

These are my Martial Arts homies. They've
been a big part of my life since I was young. We
all strive for excellence and self-control. It's helped
mold my rages into something composed and thoughtful.

This is my favorite, most, and least realistic
photo of me. I love it because it shows
who I am inside, not so much outside. Scorpios have
many sides to them, and it's very hard to tell which
emotion is going to pour out of them next.

(To be continued...)


Welcome Autumn!!!

School has begun, and so far I'm dominating all my classes. I love not studying and passing with As!! Not everyone in my family has that capability. I bet Andrew does, and I guess Brother Dan probably does. Hazelle? Maybe!! Anyway, I guess the hardest class is Personal Finance simply because it involves percentages... but I have an amazing friend who whips through them for me. :D

We are moved!! Text me if you ever want to come see it. It's right downtown, a 3 story house with a newly remodeled kitchen. I share a room with the Candy Man. Recruit Pisces sleeps downstairs. We have empty rooms, new carpets, and as before, over 300 movies and games that makes our house the party house. That's the way we like it!!

Last night, we wandered over to the next door neighbor's house. He sat with a group of peoples around a campfire and there was a jam sequence in session. So we joined in and had a pretty fun night. Our neighbor likes to play harmonica, and he has a sweet motorcycle which I fully intend to ride this fall. In other words, we really like our neighbors!

The wedding plans continue. We got a song choreographed which the bridesmaids and I will dance to. In fact, it's going to be a wedding party dance-off! Saturday is my first bridal shower. It kind of makes all of this seem a lot more real. That, and we just mailed our invites this morning. I will put up a picture of the invites soon. They are beautiful. Candy Man's parents are doing a fabulous job at turning this into a very grand affair. Our grandparents are pretty awesome too. :D

Taekwondo began this week. I went up another belt this summer. My goal is to be a high blue belt before I leave for the Navy. It's looking pretty hopeful, as there is another testing in only 3 weeks!! Moving right along!!! Coupled with pilates, running, and PT, I am soooo sore this week!! But a good kind of sore, the kind that says, 'you're gonna lose the hereditary hips. You just fit into your 2007 jeans. You're gonna be ready for basics!!' Recruit Pisces has been the amazing transformation, though. She's lost the weight like crazy. Wish I could lose like that. It's awesome!!

I went to a casino for the first time last weekend. It was pretty insane. My uncle from Nashville was visiting, so I went with him. I would have liked to do the races, but it was a little late when we got there. The old stories are true. You start out winning little to moderate amounts of money. I mean, I started with $100 and got up to $183 in a few minutes. And then just as fast, I lost it all. Yup, it was plenty of fun when it wasn't my money. Still, I was cringing just a tiny bit, thinking, ohh, rent, you could have been paid tonight... but the later it grew and the drunker I got, the more I got into the drama of gambling. So, that was a fun 'new'. :D

Well, it's getting late, and the Candy Man should be getting home soon... probably ought to go turn down his covers and rub his sore feet and do his homework and dishes while he watches tv....

Or not.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Inside My Head, Installment #10

I am in a hurry for Tuesday. Monday will drag on like a dissonant, repetitive classical piece, lingering long after several appropriate ends are ignored. First day of school... moving into the new apartment... mailing wedding invites... going to the courthouse to change some things on some legal documents. Busy and not in a fun way.

But Tuesday! Mr. Harrison's class, here I come! Soon you, my blog friends, will see my writings spilled out in all the glory of the English language as I swiftly organize my thoughts and turn to research in my spare time. In short measure, you will notice my wistful longing for peace on earth and the simple life, words used sparingly to mean much. The attention to writing that has evaded me for these past three months is surfacing again, and it is with enthusiasm and gratefulness that I announce that my demise was not long-lived.

On July 31st, I made a conscious decision to not let the struggles and pain of my recent situation get me down any longer. I vowed that August would be a time of laughter. And I guess my choice was honored by the powers that be. This month has been wonderful, beautiful. Here are some highlights:

On August 4th was my first big DEP meeting. That's where I was told that the CIA and FBI would be on the lookout to hire me. I also received my first award. And I will recite for you now my sixth general order: "My sixth general order is to receive, obey and pass on to the sentry relieving me all orders from the Commanding officer, Command Duty Officer, Officer of the Deck, and officers and petty officers of the watch only." Thank you, all, please, hold your applause!!!

Early on in August, my friend Rainbow Boy showed up in town. He stayed with us a long time. I think it was about 2 weeks. We got pictures together, like this one:

We also stayed up all hours of the night, talked about every single thing in the world and then some, ventured where neither of us had dared venture before, and oh! picked out my wedding dress. And talked for 3 days about my family. And made special toasts late at night. There was the one night I signed him up to sing Barbie Girl at kareoke without his knowledge. Oh, the memories....

We had these weird little kitten things born a few days after Rainbow Boy arrived. Here's a glimpse:

They are part Persian, we think, because of the smoky-fading-to-white markings. They also have little ringed tails. I love them even if they are awfully strange little raccoon/skunk/cat guys. At least, I'll love them until they become cats!!

On August 13th, Candy Man, Rainbow Boy, Recruit P. and I went to Oceans of Fun. We camped out the night before in Oak Grove, MO. That was kind of fun. We probably kept some of our 'neighbors' up because we were having so much fun. That night I got a lot of bug bites (remember this part. It's important later). The next day we spent about 8 hours getting drenched with water on the hottest day of the summer. We also got awesome souveniers- the kind where your skin is red and sensitive, and hurts for about 3 days before fading into a nice even tan. :)

That night, we stayed in a hotel. Candy Man had some sun heat, but he rallied and took me out to a Mongolian Grill. Mmmm... Recruit P and Rainbow Boy went to Outback Steakhouse and had a great time too! When we returned to the hotel, we went to bed... and I was up for hours scratching my bug bites a lot.

I got back home yesterday and my bug bites were driving me so insane that I was literally stomping around, slathering my bites in everything I could find. Finally I realized I was having an allergic reaction to mosquito bites! Who would have imagined! Thankfully Recruit P's mom helped out, I took some Benadryl, and was knocked out cold all night.

Rainbow Boy is gone now. I'm surprisingly sad about that. The last few days of his visit I was pretty detached. I think I knew I would miss him. It makes me wish that the summer of '08, when we met, was never ending. But I wouldn't wish that on him, because he had a hard time there. I just am soooo glad we met, and I wouldn't change anything about him. Nothing. Nada.

Oh! I got a new sleeping buddy at the Omaha Henry Doorly Zoo on our trip!!! My old buddy was the tiger Patrick, who I have mentioned in here before. Now I have a black panther named Jaden, and a little tiny white tiger named Wynter. Candy Man was super sweet and stopped just to get them for me. Love them!!! I'll get pics soon.

The rest of August looks pretty promising... school starting, a bridal shower next weekend, my best friend Sanders is home from boot camp, and we are moving back into town. I mastered calligraphy for my wedding invites, and I'm looking forward to sending them.

Soon I will be welcoming in the fresh, dying beauty of my favorite season. Autumn has the best colors, aromas and warm memories. This season carries the last remnants of sorrow from months gone by, and at the same time renews a hope for a new chapter.

Wedding plans are going very well! The wedding party is planning a dance-off: guys vs. girls. We're working on choreography. We also have outfits all picked out. The guys are renting some amazing tuxes. My dress is stunning, and only has minor alterations. We have a full day planned with some wonderful little whimsical additions to make our wedding truly unique!!

I thought I would throw in a word from my heart of hearts... I saw my brother last week. He looked older and more handsome than I remembered. It made me think about the family. I don't plan to see them anytime soon. Berea, Chasse, Hazelle, Andrew, Lydia and Wesley are in my heart and I love them unconditionally. This was something I had to learn, because I learned as a child from a man who did not know how to love unconditionally. I want to be the best mother that I can be, and it means starting now.

Even if one sister chooses to tell lies and cover up her own faults, I still love her completely, although it makes me angry. When my sister chooses to paint me as a despicable, unloving sister to all of my friends, I still love her! I'm sad that she feels such dark emotions. Those two girls are my sisters, and I hope they both find what they are looking for so desperately.

And then there's the littles. Hazelle is the sister most like me as far as intellectual knowledge. I can't wait to see her succeed in college! She won't be one to skip classes, beg help off others, and drop courses. She's gonna be popular, and she deserves to be, because she is witty and beautiful. Andrew makes me smile on my darkest days. I remember when he was six, I would tell him, "One day you're going to be ten, and you won't like to hug me anymore..." and he would protest, "I'll always love to hug you!!!" And guess what? He does!! Lydia and Wesley are both young and portray a sense of maturity I never had, but I'm glad they do. They still possess innocence, and life, and humor.

My stepdad? I think I forgive him completely. There are even some things I would like to thank him for, some day. Not for a while, though. I don't ever want him back in my life. My mom? I love her. But the dimension of our relationship is too complicated for me. I appreciate the quiet, simple life, free of drama, like my great uncle Ron. I'm thankful for my Navy job because it will take me away, for eight years, to travel, see new places, establish financial security, and hopefully add to my new little family. And when I return, I am hoping that our family can experience restoration.

It tears me up that my little kiddos won't be in my wedding. But as long as they know that I love them and am doing what is best for them, I will be happy.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

What is DEP Like?

Yesterday was our DEP meeting. That stands for Delayed Entry Program. Here's what happened, since some people have expressed curiosity:

We walked into the office. An American flag stands on the right side of the door as you come in. You're supposed to turn to the flag, salute, and turn to the front, salute and ask, "permission to come aboard?" I did all that, and my Petty Officer granted me permission.

Next, you have to sign yourself in your book. Then a lot of things happen at once: some people get random drug testing, some fill out survey things, some people have to get taped and weighed, etc. I usually have to do none of those things, so I sit awkwardly in a corner.

Finally, when everyone is done shuffling around, the leader of the Navy recruits calls us to attention. We all rush to form a somewhat disheveled line, and then we do a "duress right" at close interval, which means we all stick our elbow out and touch the person next to us to get our spacing correct. At that point we recite the Sailor's Creed, which I talked about in my last post.

Then, we get to introduce ourselves and answer a list of things about us. Mine usually sounds like this: "I'm Angel Renee, from Hoskins. I enlisted on July 12th, 2010 and my ship date is March 8th of 2011. My job is Crypto-Technician-top security level Intelligence. My recruiter was Petty Officer Eric Oberhauser, and I am entering as an E-3. I joined the Navy to travel, serve my country, and be part of the global force for good." :D

We get vocabulary lessons next. They write down words we are going to need to know, and we have to put the definition. Last meeting, one of the words was 'scullery'. That means a place to do dishes. One of the recruits said it was a 'hard hat'. Another said, 'a fancy artwork of the skull.' That's how it's done, folks. Welcome to Nebraska!!!

After THAT, we have the actual lesson of the day. This meeting was on First Aid. We were divided into groups and given topics to prepare presentations on. Mine was bleeding and tourniquets. I am already certified, so I tried my best not to look bored. One funny thing our handbooks told us was that we can't use tourniquets on head or neck wounds or you can die. I used that in my presentation and everyone laughed.

Yesterday was special. We had a Master Command Officer, I think, visit. She has worked all over, including the Pentagon. She was very impressed about my job, saying it's a hard one to get into. She told me that when I get out of the Navy, the CIA and FBI will certainly be trying to give me a job. Wow!

So, we finished the meeting with some new commands. These were commands that taught us how to turn, with our feet, and how to stand at parade rest. The Pentagon lady also gave me a letter of recognition from an Admiral or something for getting seamen recruit Pisces to join. That was kind of fun.

Then we were lucky enough to be forced into going to play frisbee. I ran my guts out, chasing Recruit P all over the field. I'm not very good at frisbee. Of course, it was she and I against 10 big guys, so we both were kinda retarded. Oh well.

That is basically DEP. Now I'm going to go plan my honeymoon cruise.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Waking Up in August

July was spent in a stressful haze. I don't even remember many details, because it was sooo sickeningly stressful. I lay around on a couch, being depressed, dragging myself to work, and crying every night. The few things I remember are kind of sad. For instance, I broke my knuckle at work because I punched a wall. Also, I threw a total fit because a cat peed on the stuffed animal I always sleep with, and I HATE cats, so it was a good time to have a tantrum.

Anyone who crossed my path either heard my depression, or suffered my wrath. It was a miserable time. I didn't eat, hardly slept, and let the house become a disaster area. Yup, I would say I was properly depressed. But it makes sense. The only good thing that happened in July was my legal marrying of Candy Man and my swearing into the Navy.

Two mornings ago I reached the height of my misery. I cried all day. That was the day I broke my hand. I was so tense I was shaking all over. I told my fiance that this was the worst month of my life. It was a bad day. As I lay in bed that night, I had a thought. I was letting my fear and anger win. An entire month of my youth was wasted on useless feelings and emotions.

That night, I had a dream. I dreamed that I was in my childhood home, protecting my mom and sisters from rattlesnakes. They kept finding cracks and would come slithering in, poised to strike and hissing venomously. As soon as I killed one, another would come in. Finally, at some point, all the snakes were gone, and all the cracks were sealed. I was exhausted, and set about making supper for my sisters, who hadn't eaten all day.

As I put a pot of water on to boil, I looked out the front door. My heart stopped as I saw a figure in the yard. Looking closer, I realized it was my mom. She was bending over, picking up rattlesnakes, and gathering them into her arms. Mesmerized, I stood and watched. Suddenly, she turned toward the house and threw the snakes with all her might. They came shattering through the window, right at my feet. In shock, I picked up my sisters and began to run, the rattlers in hot pursuit.

For some strange reason, I was able to run with four sisters on my back for quite a long distance. It seemed as though every time I ran out of strength, my sister's would transfer their inner strength to me, and I could run farther and faster. It was a really good system.

By and by, I realized that Berea had slid off my back. Turning and looking over my shoulder, I watched her run back to the rattlesnakes and her mother. I called to her and to my mom, trying to give them a direction to get away from the snakes. But they stood in the midst of the pack, and the snakes overcame them easily. Transfixed, I stared as they emerged with Medusa-like beauty, snakes in their hair and a wild danger in their eyes. Frightened, I began to run again.

One by one, I lost them all. One at a time, they would slide off my back and return to their mother. Until I was left running alone. Or not quite alone. I noticed Mr. Harrison, my English/Philosophy teacher, jogging easily by my side. He looked into my pain-filled eyes and gently said, 'you know you can't save them. It's time for you to make your own path. There are SO many people surrounding you and giving you a chance to do that right now. Find your bliss,' and then he faded in a mist as I awoke.

Dazed from the dream, I stumbled into my livingroom. My dear friend Rainbow Boy was sitting on the sofa playing a game. I told him about my dream. Rainbow Boy loves to decipher dreams, so he looked up my dream details. Here is what he found:

To see a rattlesnake in your dream, represents lurking danger, sin, lacking freedom and overt sexuality. The symbol may also parallel a waking relationship in some passage of time where you are feeling constricted and confined.

To dream about your mother, denotes a matter that has preoccupied your mind and you are not sure how to deal with it in your waking life. It indicates unresolved problems that need to be worked out with your mother.

Killing reptiles represents the killing off of the old parts and old habits. Alternatively, the dream represents feelings of being let down or betrayed by someone in your waking life. You are feeling overwhelmed, shocked and disappointed.Alternatively, this dream may represent purification and the healing process. You are standing up for yourself and putting a dramatic end to something.

Anyway... that dream was pretty enlightening. I went for a walk and began to see all the amazing things I've got going for me. For one, I have a strong, supportive, amazing man who is willing to marry me despite all the warning signs he has been given of a dysfunctional family. That is unfathomable. It means he thinks I'm worth it! He chose me!

And speaking of family... I have a new one. My mother-in-law went shopping with me and helped me try out wedding dresses. When I found the perfect one and stood in front of the triple mirrors, she said that she had given up hope of going wedding dress shopping, since she had sons. She said, "Your loss is my gain". My new family is willing to accept me as a Hoyt and cover me as one of their own. Wow.

Not to mention my friends. From my mom's discarded best friends to my own dear soulmates, I have some of the most supportive people in my life of anyone I know. At work, people show concern and protection. One of my regulars at the bar self appointed himself as my bodyguard. A pastor's wife takes time out all the time to connect with me and share her own struggles as well. Amazing! I feel like Bella in Twilight-I think a lot of girls are jealous of how she attracts all the most wonderful people who are down to earth and want to protect her. That's how it's been lately. I can get on the computer and talk to some amazing girls who understand 100% and back me up from other countries!! I began feeling the love that I should have noticed this whole time.

And, I'm getting married!!! I told everyone that July 7th was just a legal date; October 9th would be my REAL wedding. And so it is. My married life will begin then, with SO much promise! I have an exquisite dress, 5 of my very best friends will be standing up there with me, and a dance choreographed with my wedding party. After a night filled with amazing fun and memories, Candy Man and I will be whisked away to a more exotic honeymoon than I ever dreamed of, white sands and sparkling waters, and love that will last a lifetime.

Moving on a little farther... I'm now property of the United States Navy! Here's my awesome new creed:

I am a United States Sailor.
I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States of America and I will obey the orders of those appointed over me.
I represent the fighting spirit of the Navy and those who have gone before me to defend freedom and democracy around the world.
I proudly serve my country's Navy combat team with Honor, Courage and Commitment.
I am committed to excellence and the fair treatment of all.

What a legacy! What an honor.

What was I thinking?! There's no need for me to feel anything but excited. This is the biggest step, the throwing off of the sick garbage I have had in my life, and the turn of a new and wonderful chapter in my life. I think this is the end of the drama and mental games, the mind torture and manipulation, and the beginning of the best years of my life. I'm finally to the good part that I have deserved since childhood. The more bitter the valley, the more peaceful and sweet is the mountain.

This is working! I love it. Soon I will post a new post with pictures to satiate your curiosity of what I've been doing recently and what Rainbow Boyt looks like. :D