I'm sitting in my barracks, working in some photo projects that I've been wanting to finish, and listening to Glee. This is the perfect beginning to a wonderful weekend.
For the past month, I've been fighting some personal demons. They inspired some dark writing, but also I'm proud of how well I coped. To me, it's a sign of the progress I've made on myself since last year. I'm now entering a season of good things, and it's very welcome!
So, lately I've been wearing hoods all the time. If I'm in uniform, my cover is always pulled low over my eyes. I'm not sure why. But I feel naked without a cover on my head. It started as a fashion thing, and then I just switched to doing it all the time.
About love... I've dished a lot of crap on it. I'm not exactly sure where I'm at yet, but I don't hate it anymore. After all, I have an idea of what love is. It was that choked up feeling I got when I saw the Christmas tree my sister Drew for me and the contents of the care package my mommy packed. And it's the sensation I savored when I heard my friend today, being real, asking if I was doing okay. It's what inspired me to plan a trip to Texas to see the sailor who can't go home for Christmas. It's the excitement I get when I see a text from Tokyo.
My latest endeavor is to really focus on myself and rejuvenate. I an learning about my personality, thanks to my pal Bannon, and I'm bringing out talents I've wanted to master, but never had time. Piano is coming back into focus, along with vocals :D I've also been building my relationships with the six most important people in my life.
I'm not saying last year didn't happen, out that the situation didn't suck. But after a year of not speaking to my siblings, I find I'm absolutely content with the fact that I can see Lydia on Facebook, or that I'm saving up for a ticket to bring Hazelle to Florida. Mom is my best friend again, and I'm finding that beneath the new perspectives and beliefs, she is the same mom. And I love her.
So, yeah. That's all going great. And the Navy? Please. I was made for this life. It's got the stage, the value, the pride, and benefits on the side! I'm learning that my rate happens to be amazing. Every morning I walk to muster and think about how cool it is that I'm in the service. I get to honor the ensign every day. I get to wear a uniform worth being proud of. I'm really glad I chose this career. It's brought me nothing but joy.
Funny side note... I saw a senior chief the other night when I was jogging to the chapel. He looked unsteady, and I ran over to see if he needed anything. He walked up to the empty flag pole, saluted smartly, and turned to me. "Shipmate!!! Did you salute the ensign?" he boomed. I came to attention and saluted, confused. He then went to the door of the Quarterdeck. "do you know why this door is locked?" I explained that it was after hours... He was very pleased about this fact. He re-saluted, turned and stumbled away. I laughed for about ten minutes. It was glorious.
I'm about to go on a pizza date. Every weekend, a small group of us go smoke hooka and eat out, go to a movie, or find a fun event. Tomorrow we are going to the zoo. I believe this is my time to take advantage of the freedom I have, and use it for good. I don't have anything holding me down. I have the structure of the Navy that I need to keep me grounded. I'm going to Tokyo and Europe next year. Life is, indeed, wonderful.