Sunday, October 16, 2011

Just for Fun

My mom reminded me today that I have a blog. Which I used to write on all the time! I did it for fun, then family things got ugly and I fed off the drama, but now it's just for fun again.

Here's a fun tidbit: in German, the phrase, "I don't give a fuck", translated into English, means, "there is trouble in the gypsy village". Isn't that astonishing? I'm starting to say that when I don't care about something.

I'm still in Pensacola. It's fun. I'm starting to run out of things to do, but my resourceful mind is already kicking in and providing much entertainment. So I'm not too bored.

I need to start writing again, because I've had a lot of inner conflict lately. People mystify me. It's a joke how absolutly close two people can get, and in a moment become the negative sides of a magnet. It troubles me. Also troubling is the fact that you can't marry your best friend. I tried that, and it didn't turn out. So I have another best friend, Colton, and he just abandoned me for Texas (I don't know why. Texas is bigger and less attractive than I). I thought about restlessly throwing caution to the wind and screaming, "marry me, and we shall never be apart, my most compatible friend!" Except I didn't ever really think that, because I learned my lesson. I don't love Colton that way. I want to be with him, and I'm praying for orders to texas. But marriage would not work out.

Ramble I do. Hey, about 39 of my friends are new or soon expecting to be new parents. Most of the babies are girls. Of this I have two reactions. Wow, I have a lot of friends. Also, wow, what a lot of babies. I had a brush with motherhood earlier this year. It scares me. I used to know I'd be a great mom. Now I guess not. One day, perhaps? I'm pretty sure I was a good second mother. But once kids get past 4, they need more than physical care. They need spiritual and healthy behavioral care. I'm not sure I'm ready for that. My kids are going to have the best raising I can give them. They just need to hibernate a while longer. That being said, I want to hold my 39 nieces.

I wrote a lot of senseless chatter. But you know what, there is trouble in the gypsy village. My next post will be more stylish and organized and artsy. Hooah?


Anonymous said...

How did you pass a psych eval to get into the navy? You are certifiable. How could you just throw your marriage away? Did you find someone else that you thought could fix you? How many people have you hurt and tossed away like trash? I am sure you will not post this because it calls you out but someone needs to make you aware of how toxic you are. You deserve to be alone in a padded room.

@@@@@@ said...

trouble in the gypsy village is greek dear. Not German.