Sunday, September 26, 2010

Inside My Head, Installment #11

Last Friday, I received a letter from a law office stating that much of the information on my blog is inaccurate. I'm not sure if this person even read my blog, considering that she wrote to a Ms. Hoyt, instead of a Mrs. Bennett or Mrs. Hoyt, and that my mom's name was spelled wrong and there were spelling errors throughout. I was given 3 days to remove the offending posts.

From now on, anything that I write that is not fictional will be entered as, 'in my opinion'. I have freedom of speech that allows this on a public blog. In my opinion, I have suffered enough abuse and I'm tired of it. My thoughts and views are my own, entirely factual, and if they aren't then I always state that they are fictional.

In my opinion, I'm pretty sure I'm being exploited. I went onto a website last week and found a 37 page chat about myself. People have been reading a story about me and talking about it. I'm not happy about that at all, considering that in my opinion it's a lot of falsehoods anyway. Upon my entrance into the Navy, I realized that I don't want this false image of me being published on a blog, or in a book, or anything. This is partly why I am going to start posting my story. I don't like the idea of anyone making a profit on my misfortunes.

On that note... I had my last dress fitting today. I got a size 4 and it's starting to get loose on me. I blame my body for being too excited to eat much lately. We have 4 more parties before the wedding, and 2 after. I've been able to finally focus just on the wedding and not on any other craziness, and it's been SO peaceful.

We went to marriage counseling this week. It was really fun! We learned that the 4 main focal points that make or break a relationship are 1. Money, 2. In-Laws, 3. Kids, and 4. Spirituality. We actually have talked through these things before. Money we have figured out, I doubt that will be a problem. In-Laws... haha, yeah. That's something we are learning to survive. Kids-we're hoping for 2, and we're raising them Unitarian. I think. And we are growing together spiritually.

I met my friend G. off of my mom's blog. She's amazing and funny, encouraging. She's coming to the wedding, and I can't wait to see her, even if it isn't for long. Also Candy Man and I are planning a visit to see my Grandpa Irv and his family. We've spent a lot of time talking to them and I'm excited to see them before I go to the Navy. What an exciting time in our lives right now!

This was a really random post, I'll be posting again soon with something more structured and organized.


Bessie said...

dude. your mother is seriously wackadoodle. She is one of the most self centered bloggers I've ever read, and that is saying a lot. Please be careful. And continue standing up for yourself.

Anonymous said...

dude blogs are supposed to be about self. do you write your diary about others? how is my mom supposed to write her stories without talking about herself in her point of view?

Angel Renee said...

Thank you Bessie! I'm pretty sure that if she decides to press charges on my opinions, I'm going to refuse her permission to use me in her story at all. I really wish she wouldn't cause so much grief for me in the middle of my wedding plans though. :( in my opinion, that's cruel.

Angel Renee said...

(Anonymous is my lil sister Berea...)

Bessie said...

@anon, most bloggers are self absorbed to a point, yes. The classic blog is typically about one's own life. But I'm talking about severe self absorption, not just "I'll write about my own life." It is more like a psychological imbalance... maybe a bit of narcissism.

Having read the "NLQ" blog since its earliest days of inception, I can say that at first, I had a lot of sympathy for Vyckie and was intrigued by her story. But pretty soon, it really started to seem that it was All.About.Her. All she does is complain about her past and the silly mistakes that she made by following fundamentalism (well, when she's not telling us how smart she is). Instead of focusing on how she might correct her mistakes, or on taking better care of her children who remain at home, OR improving relationships with grown kids like Angel, she continues to blog about herself... to the point that it seems, honestly, whiney.

Now we have these rehashes of "Vyckie's Story", which she thinks is so very tantalizing to her readers that it can serve as a cash cow. It's a little nauseating. The blog is not even very well done; it's hard to look at with lots of weird creepy ads all around the edges, some of which can only be partially read. It is starting to look like a spam convention.

To me it seems that Vyckie has not "recovered" much at all... she has gotten over the God bit, but she can't get outside of her own selfishness.

Angel, I am sorry if this seems harsh, but I suspect you have reached the same conclusions already. Berea, if you are indeed the anon poster, I hope you too will be able to disentangle yourself one day from a dysfunctional mom. That is something I know a thing or two about, though my mom is dysfunctional in a different way.

Gloria said...

Very well said, Bessie.

As a daughter of a fundamentalist family, I have very little sympathy for the parents that dragged the family into this dangerous system. Sure, Vyckie claims that she did this for the good of her children, but honestly, I think there was maybe 3% of that, and the other 97% was her need to be right, and better than everyone else. I think she (and other fundamentalist parents) have persuaded themselves that they meant well in what they did. As a child who was dragged into this against my will, I'm sorry, but I have a hard time appreciating that. Wanting the perfect, well behaved family was largely for the parents benefits- that their reputation was shiny and clean.

Also, seeing how absolutely heinous Vyckie has been to Angel is repulsive. It's obvious that she's not really regretful for what she's done- it always has been, and is still all about HER. She needs to have control over everything, on HER terms. Did I mention it's repulsive? She has very publicly shown her willingness to destroy her own daughter, by whatever means necessary. I have lost every bit of respect that I ever had for her.

Just because an abusive parent leaves fundamentalism does not mean that the behavior stops. Kudos to Angel on finally breaking free of the poison! :) <3

Anonymous said...

Gloria, whatever mom's reason for joining the Quiverful movement she is out of it now and regrets ever being in it. Can't people just get over stuff already? Why focus on all her past mistakes? I am pretty sure even you are not totally perfect. So my mom can't publically talk about how she feels about angel but angel can talk about mom? Also Bessie, why would you want me to get away from my own mother? You talk about how mom should focus on fixing her relationship with angel, because relationships are so important to you but you want me to try and sever my relationship with my mom?

Gloria said...

Berea, she may regret having got into the Quiverfull movement, but she hasn't stopped her abusive, controlling ways. That's the thing. If she really regrets what she's done, she would try to make up for the hell that she put her children through, instead of continuing to be mean and manipulative as she loses control of Angel. I went through the same thing with my parents- I was willing to overlook/forgive the past, let them off the hook. The problem was that the abuse continued, and I finally had to realize that the cult wasn't the problem- my parents were. In your family's case, the QF movement isn't the problem- it's your mom's need for control and perfection. That's what I meant by bringing up the time in QF- it's simply a symptom of your mother's dysfunction.

I know that you see the recent events in a very different light, and are thrilled that you are now getting so much of your mom's attention and "love". I know how Angel is being plastered in a negative light, and you're being told that she's the bad one. You're finally the apple of your mom's eye, after Angel stole that spotlight for so long. Enjoy it while it lasts....believe me, your mom will not hesistate to do the same thing to you if you ever threaten her control. "I am pretty sure even you are not totally perfect." Really? Please learn how to stick to the subject on hand. We are not talking about me. Where, exactly, did I ever claim to be perfect? Way to sling mud to try to derail the conversation!

Also, your mother does publically talk about Angel. She's gone out of her way to try to tell all of Angel's friends how perverted and crazy she (Angel) is. Of course Angel has the right to defend herself!

yeesh. My head now hurts. Does your college offer a Critical Thinking course? Please take it. It will do you a world of good

Angel Renee said...

This person we are talking about, has made a lot of changes for her younger children, and I think it's great that she has done that. But Gloria is right, she estranges her older children.

Berea, you used to complain about this person every time I saw you. I defended her, and you tore her down. In my opinion you've only changed this because suddenly, you're being noticed! And it feels good. That's why I think you said what you did about my husband. It seemed like a safe way to get attention to you. I don't think you're stupid enough to change your stories every few seconds for no good reason. You are a smart girl.

This is all just my opinion, of course. Uncle Ron and Grandpa Irv have their own opinions, as do a lot of this person's old friends. We are all entitled to our own opinion, and I understand where yours is coming from. I was a child like you once, and I know how it feels. I don't want you to blindly follow. I want you to learn to use your head, use your common sense, and learn like I did what is right for you as an individual. And to grow in that, and be happy!!

Anonymous said...

Angel is doing the same thing she is accusing mom of doing in every way. She is telling all of mom's friends and even family bad things about her. lol and if i had been intelligent enough to think up a scheme like that in order to get more if not all of mom's attention that would be pretty awesome. Too bad i don't actually sit around thinking about things like that. I only said that stuff about Aaron Because it was true. I probably could have just not said it and ended things quietly myself, but i felt you should know. I admit it was partly my fault, why can't he even admit it happened? doesn't that bother you?

Angel Renee said...

No, it does not bother me, because I know Aaron and I know your past of lying. This conversation is getting old. Leave me alone.