Friday, June 17, 2011

And Now, From the Humor Department:

So, Sailors are pretty funny creatures. We have our moments, definitely. Even those of us who are intelligence. Yup. These scenarios made me crack up. Maybe they will make you smile too. Like this: :) <------ (smile)

Scene: Building that we are cleaning
(Moments before, Sailor Myers and I walk into the building, to inhale a giant lungful of pine-sol, brass cleaner, and bleach)
Me: Wow, it stinks pretty strong in here.
Myers: Yeah-woah, my head feels light and dizzy.
Me: I'm going to throw up?
Myers: Why are we laughing so hard?
Me: I think we're high.
(yelling) Hey, join the Navy! You can get high as a kite and get paid to do it!! Hooyah U.S. Navy!!

We then turn a corner and run into Petty Officer and Chief, both staring us down with raised eyebrows.
Myers and I, collectively: I did NOT just say that.

Scene: Getting ready for the weekend
Petty Officer, known as FC1: So, if you're not phase 2 yet, you know you can't leave base. There are plenty of things to do on base. There's the bowling alley, for instance. The theater.
Sailor Morris: The pool is open now.
FC1: There's a lovely place called the gym.
Morris: There's also the pool.
FC1: The pool is open too. You can all hang out there. Obviously there isn't room for you all to be in there at once. You'll have to take turns. Five, or six of you at once.
Morris: That's... what she said.
Curtain closes on sailors, suffocating on their own laughter.

Scenario: Who cares? It's funny anywhere.
Sailor Bennett: How many Sailors does it take to rob a bank?
(everyone stares inquisitively, except those who just stare dumbly)
Bennett: Three. One to rob the bank, and two road guards.
Morris: Yeah? Want to hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

(scenario ends here.)