Saturday, January 30, 2010

My Other Identity

It's not exactly hidden. I just hide away from a lot of people who would disapprove of who I am compared to who I was, once upon a time. They would find a lot of problems with what I've become. For instance:

I am working at a bowling alley. Not so bad. As a bartender. BAD!! Especially because I love it more than any job I've ever had. Every single aspect. My favorite is kareoke night. Picture this: A crowded bar, all kinds of music being sung all kinds of ways. Beer foams over the top of the tall bud draw and splatters on your shoes. All ages getting drunk off their asses, swaying and laughing and in general, celebrating life as an American. Your fellow bartender splitting over $200 in tips at the end of an exhausting night. Oh man, I love my job!!!

I guess the reason a lot of people wouldn't like my job is because I'm 'enabling' alcoholics. But really, those guys are going to drink anyway. Why not do it in a controlled atmosphere, where I can watch and cut them off if they go overboard, call them a cab, etc.?

I have embraced the wild side. I have done a few things that are absolutely unacceptable where I come from. Examples:

I got a tattoo on my lower back. It's very beautiful, here it is:

I have gotten very, very drunk. Since drinking is taboo where I come from, that would also be unacceptable. But my mom does it too, so I guess I never really felt guilty about that.

Oh yeah! Big one: I have a boyfriend. No, not a betrothed or a fiance. Just a boyfriend. And, AND, we've done things together that would cause my old friends to just abandon me as lost, and pray for me as such.

See? And I seemed like such a nice, innocent girl...

But I don't mourn the death of my other self. Rather, I'm glad I'm different now. It's so much more freeing. And I love being able to accept others and be accepted. I am glad to be something other than a hypocrite.

Oh my gosh, some alien took over my body and wrote all this! Quick, time to pray him out: Dear Heavenly Father...


Grace said...

Nice tattoo! Did it hurt?

Anonymous said...

I am hiding from some people from my past, too. I'm bi. My partner is female. I identify as agnostic. If they knew these things, they'd be sure I was going to the hot place down below. One person from my past already expressed concern about my everlasting soul. *rolls eyes*

The truth is this: I was never as happy living that life with them as I am living this life now. If there is a god, I have a hard time believing god would want us to be unhappy and unfulfilled 24/7. Because that is what I was. I'm glad I no longer am.

I'm glad you are happy being you!

Angel Renee said...

I LOVE it. So glad when people are themselves! Think about it. One life to live, just one. Why live it in misery???

Grace. Yes. Yes it did, it hurt like I was getting layers of skin pulled off. But then, I'm very low on pain tolerance.