Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Inside My Head, Installment #7

It's gotten busy here again!! I worked all weekend, saw 3 or 4 movies, went back to school. The fun part of spring semester in the music department is getting ready for spring tour. So much to learn!!! Here are a few of my favorite songs this year:

Big Spender
Theme from New York, New York
Lullaby of Broadway
Great BALLS of Fire!!!
Jersey Boys Medley
Shake Your Groove Thing

Those are 6 out of about 19 that we will be singing and dancing at our shows. Makes you want to come see us, doesn't it?!

I finally got my Buckle jeans. I've been saving up for them for a long time. I went to the store and tried on about 11 pairs. Finally I looked in the mirror and saw THE pair. They chose me, folks. My whole lower half looked like it belonged to a goddess. I was so happy. My roommate was so impressed that she decided to get some Buckle jeans. She ended up unknowingly picking the same pair as mine. So when she got home, we compared them... these are like the traveling pants from the sisterhood, guys!! They fit us both perfectly, and we are totally different!!!

My kitten is not much of a kitten anymore. She used to fit inside my palm. Now she takes up my whole lap. Ugh. I'm really glad human babies don't grow as fast as cats do. I still want a dog.

I've been kind of depressed lately, but not in a bad way... I don't know how that works. I feel like something is wrong, though. Like something bad is about to happen. I wonder if my body can tell weather. The forecast shows little to no snow, but the almanac apparently says 20 inches this week. So maybe my body senses the change in weather and gives me this feeling of uneasiness? I don't know.

I do know that I've had a few sad things happen lately. I feel like I'm cutting ties with my past yet again, but it's making me lose some old friends. I had a friend, talked about him quite regularly on here, in fact. A few months ago we had some spark of interest in each other. It died out hastily, we are just not each other's type. But then it seemed to be okay, until the night he told me that as a Christian, he could not have sexual relations until marriage anymore. Like that was a problem for me.

I'm pretty sure the blood all drained from my face at that point. I had to get as far away from him as I could, and I didn't know why. It was like I had been here before. I spent a few weeks cringing whenever he was around. Finally, talking to a dear friend, the reason came to me. My guy friend had said exactly what my dad had said. And every Christian guy who turned out to be a complete jerk. They reel you in by appearing to be clean cut, polite, gentlemanly, and immune to sexual desires.These guys don't stay Mr. Wonderful for long, though. Eventually they grab their meek, submissive new woman of God and devour her. Sometimes even in the name of the Lord.

This has happened to me before. And knowing my guy friend like I do, I was well aware that he does have sexual desires, in fact, and not much self control either. So I read his words as a false advertisement and kept well away. But now I miss the guy I cared about. I loved my friend as a brother, and now I can't be near him without being scared to death. What to do? These Christians are gonna kill me!!!

And please don't remind me that not all Christian guys are that way. I'm not a moron. The only group I really stereotype are basketball players (cause ALL of them are loud and obnoxious.) I can't tell my brain to shut off the alarm switch, though. It was installed there for a reason, and that was to protect me from religious rapists.

I can't imagine what would happen if every friend I ever made just dissolved away, one by one. I really doubt that would happen, but if it did, I don't really know what I would do. On one hand, I'm rather fond of playing the loner. On the other hand, it might kill me. So that's the impossible question of the day.

Speaking of 'of the day', the word of the day is 'impale'. My friend Dane figured that out. The word of the day 2 days ago I'm especially fond of, 'wraught'. Mmm