Saturday, March 5, 2011

Inside my Head, Installment #16

Well, the past two weeks have been horrendously chaotic. It's almost like living in a 4 bedroom house with 9 people and 1 1/2 bathrooms. But, who would do something as crazy as that???

My friend Cassie quit the Navy around New Year's, and then moved out of our house to stay with her girlfriends across town. So we reorganized the house and cleaned. I've been working hard to get ready to leave for the Navy.

I hadn't planned on going into the Navy after Cassie quit. I was very sad about her leaving, as well as family issues which were heightening at that time. We began talking about simply staying here, helping care for a friend's daughter, and just living.

But at some point, I began to feel a growing excitement about the opportunities the Navy will bring. One of the best things I can do right now is get away from this poisonous environment and seriously pursue a new life for myself and my husband. The financial benefits will be out of this world. Plus there just is a time in life to step out completely of the world you are surrounded by and open your heart to new adventures and circumstances. This is most certainly one of those times.

So, I went ahead with the plans I had originally made with Cassie. A new recruit gladly took her position, and my ship date was still valid. So then I had to start making plans for a big move.

And now it's almost here!! On Tuesday I will leave for the biggest direction-change in my life. All I'm taking with me is the set of clothes I'll be wearing, the medallion I got from Aaron on our honeymoon, basic paperwork, and a calling card. Talk about traveling light!! For 8 weeks I'll be meeting challenges at boot camp, while Aaron moves to Fort Meade, where my A-school will be.

I'm hugely excited, but just today I started getting really sad about leaving Aaron. Last night I woke up crying because I was dreaming about goodbyes... :( This will be a trying time for us both. In the summer of 2008, we lived several hours apart. He worked construction and I was a camp counselor, very busy weeks. We hardly saw one another at all, but when we reunited, our relationship became several times stronger. I'm hoping for that same experience.

Another great fear that has consumed me is my terror of deep water. The idea of a deep water jump literally makes me sick. Several people have said it seems like I have some past trauma causing such deep distress around large bodies of water. I've been trying to think back, but I really don't remember being around water much at all as a kid. I wish my mom could tell me whether I'd had any such experience. That's definitely going to be one of the biggest trials to overcome during my basic training.

Other than that, I'm very much anticipating the challenges. The working out 6 days a week will help put me in the top shape of my life so far. I love book studies, so all the history of the Navy will fascinate me. Following orders with precision is something I can thank my step dad for-he beat it into me, but it's going to help in this area. And I would love a couple months of no phones, emails... a return to the days when I had 20 penpals. I can write real letters again!!

It's a crazy time where I'm waiting for a really big day to come. I'm looking forward to it eagerly, and yet at the same time I'm trying hard to make every moment last, especially the ones with Aaron. We made a 'bucket list' of all the things I wanted to do before I left Nebraska-baking bread, eating at a mexican diner, going to look at puppies, etc.-and then we did them all. We picked a puppy that we will be getting for Christmasssss:
This one! It's a little Bichon puppy. It doesn't shed, yip, or bite. Super family dog, always happy, and pretty good left alone. They don't get very big, and they are soooooo cuddly!!!

We also had to go car shopping. I've been looking for a while for a newer car to replace my little Taurus, which wouldn't survive the trip to Florida. So we looked for quite a while. I wanted something big enough to carry a small family, not sporty but not old-lady, and orange. This is the one that caught my eye and was highly approved of by Aaron:
Is it beautiful? I can tell it's a he, and a rather macho he, but in a protective way. So... almost a Bruce, except that's a tad too macho. Anyways, I do like it very much and can't wait to get out of boot camp and drive it.

Soooo... things are about to turn very good. I'm taking charge of my life and future, and it looks very bright indeed. My last few days are going like this:

Thursday/Friday, Aaron and I took a few days to shop, relax, swim, run, watch tv, snuggle, do things that married people love to do. Today we met up with Aaron's family and watched Rango-funny movie!! We'll be here till Monday. Dad Hoyt is making fajitas right now, and they smell fantastic. Monday we will return briefly to Norfolk. I have to wax my legs, because they only let us shave on weekends (howls in pain). Then I am going to tan one last time, eat a footlong (or part of one, at least) at Subway, and say goodbye to Lynne, where I'm sure I'll start crying uncontrollably.

I'm also going to the YMCA with Aaron for about an hour and attempting the jump off the diving board. (screams in terror). Then we are leaving for Omaha, where my buddy Ed and I will sign in to our hotel rooms at the military's hotel. We'll eat with our families and spend our last evening all together.

Tuesday I'll be up and at the MEPS at 5:30, checking through, and getting a few hours in with Aaron. Ed and I will swear in together around 1 pm, and then we get our airline tickets. Since Aaron is a spouse, he will get a pass through to the airline gate, where he can remain until we say our final goodbyes. And then... on to the next greatest adventure!!!


Melissa K said...

Oh Angel, good luck with everything! It's going to be a grueling 8 weeks, that's for sure. How is this going to work with you being pregnant? Do you get a modified version of the exercises or will you be required to do the same things as everyone else?

Anne said...

I'm so proud of you!!!

(I could never go into the

Have you ever waxed before? I have, and it wasn't all that painful (imo). I can't imagine how painful armpits would be though. ><

~*Aria*~ said...

Honey, if you're pregnant (I think I read that you are), you'll be sent home. Part of the physical at the start of boot camp is a pregnancy test for women. Women are absolutely not allowed to attend boot camp while pregnant. The stress and strain of boot camp can induce miscarriage.

LCo said...

Are you still pregnant? I know before I left for the AF, I was pregnancy tested and there is NO way they let you go while pregnant

Anonymous said...

I'm confused... aren't you pregnant? Pregnant women aren't allowed to go through boot camp. Please un-confuse me!

Angel Renee said...

Yeah... it's been hard, like I said, and I was not planning on going, but starting a family. Unfortunately, a lot of stress=not good for baby. I lost it a month ago, early enough that I wasn't affected as far as boot camp is concerned. That's why it's a good idea for me to get away from the stressers (aka family issues) and create a healthier environment for our new family. :(

Angel Renee said...

haha Anne, never have waxed, but I hear it's hell, I'm sure I'll blog about it tomorrow before I go!

Angel Renee said...

Sorry-not quite a month ago. A few weeks ago, though. I haven't really dealt with it emotionally very much yet, but hopefully boot camp will help me to work it out physically-I work out to deal with tough stuff. I'll blog more about it when I get back hopefully!

Melissa K said...

Angel, I'm so sorry for your loss. I could tell in your posts that you were very much at peace with and excited about having this baby. Like you said, hopefully boot camp will help you cope, but don't hesitate to speak to a professional about it, too. Good luck in boot camp!