Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Playing Dolls

I had a friend. Once.

Or maybe I just thought I did.
He wasn't more than a friend, just a friend
But I wholeheartedly embraced him.

Many nights he would talk to me
Intensity sparking from his eyes
And I focused on the lavender
That was him
Not allowing my attention to be swayed
By a loving boyfriend
Or my own aching soul.

Because I cared for him.
Like a brother

And now, it is with regret
That I loved him
Because he is an unstable flame
Flickering with the slightest breeze
A wisp, and our connection is lost.

It's almost as if he thought he could play
With my heart.
A velveteen rabbit, or perhaps a doll
A whole collection of us, he's held
Playing house, and best friends
Every day
Until a new doll comes into his reach.

And suddenly, he's gone.

Without bothering to explain
He suddenly has a new obsession
A new toy to probe and explore,
And love
While the old tried and true friends lie forgotten
Strewn across the floor of his life.

Well, that's all right with me,
I guess
I just have one question:

If you should one day discover
Your new toy is broken
Like the many, many you've had before
-Not saying this one will break-
But do you really think you can waltz back
Pick it all up
Right where you left off
And finish the game you started?

There is news for you, child
It's no longer a game
The day has come
When you're too old to leave your 'toys'
With restless abandon
And find them waiting
Should you fancy to return.

My heart-
My friendship-
Is not a toy.


Angel Renee said...

I notice this post getting a whole lot of views. In light of recent events, I want to clarify that this was written while dealing with an ex-roommate of ours. So it's not about my husband, if anyone was wondering.